Gary E wrote us and commented on the Strib article:

I believe that youth sports lost their direction and purpose years ago, when a group of parents looked to sports as a way to fund their children's college education. AAU and "elite" sports teams began to erode the true essence of youth sports by stressing that winning was the goal, rather than showing our children the value and lessons that sports can teach; participation, teamwork, improvement as an individual and as a whole, good sportsmanship, etc.

I do believe that the problem lies mostly with the parents. Children "learn" bad behavior just like they learn good behavior. I coached in the twin cities for over 20 years. I used to film parents in the stands, good behavior (sometimes) and bad behavior (mostly). At mandatory NCAA children/parents meetings, where all the rules of eligibility were discussed (including behavior, drinking, drugs, etc.) we would also show the film of the parents'poor behavior in the stands as an example of how NOT to behave. If we want to change sports to be more civil and athletic, and if we desire to change our children's behavior towards proper sportsmanship, we must start with the parents.

How often have you observed yourself or other parents only cheer for your own child's team, rather than acknowledging a good play from either team. Rather than root "against" someone, acknowledge good play wherever it occurs - that is good sportsmanship. That is the lesson we should be teaching our children.

A number of years ago, my youngest daughter, who played tennis, basketball and softball at Hopkins High School came to me with a problem. One of her softball teammates was also on the hockey team (the seasons slightly overlapped)and they were scheduled to go to Detroit for a hockey tournanment. However, the softball coach wanted all of her players at the early season practice and so she told her players that if they missed the practive they could not be on the team, even though she knew this one girl was on the hockey team and the hockey team was in a tournament out of town. My daughter thought that was unfair to her firend and teammate and asked me what to do. The coach was a tyrant and my daughter was concerned that the coach might punish her as well if she stood up for her friend.

I asked her how she would feel if she was being treated unfairly and no one stood up for her. She answered, "not good". I said that even if it meant she might get "punished" by the coach, it would mean more to her in the long run knowing she stood up for her friend. She chose to go to the school's athletic director and to the coach to complain that her teammate was being treated unfairly. The athletic director agreed and protected the young girl on the hockey team. The coach did choose to "punish" my daughter, demoting her from her starting position. It was a very unsatisfying softball season for my daughter, but if you ask her even today if it was worth it, she will unhesitatingly answer yes.

As parents, we need to "take back" our youth sports teams. Let them be what they were supposed to be . . . fun, participation, sportsmanship. The AAU and elite teams will always emphasize winning at all costs. Don't participate in them. We can already see the impact some of those teams have had on our youth and society in general. Let's bring back civility to sports and allow our children to have fun once again.

Posted by Susan at 12/09/2004 09:39:20 AM | Link